Plain Tales from the Surgery

No minuscule pain.

One of my rather anxious patients came to see me. She was worried about her knee pain as the MRI scan apparently showed a minuscule tear.

'But doctor, my knee does hurt and it doesn't feel minuscule.'

Unfortunately I did not have the report with me, but I figured out that she meant a meniscal tear.

We both had a good laugh. She was relieved that all her symptoms were not 'minuscule' and that her knee pain was being taken seriously.

  • Dr Jayadevi Palekanda, Chellaston, Derby

Explosive character
A patient who had suffered a string of personal disasters - including losing his job, home and partner within a year - despite making what he felt were the right decisions at that time, was referred to the Community Mental Health Team urgently for assessment.

I noticed on the discharge summary 'Options exploded with him ...'

I think that was a typo and should have been 'explored'. But then again considering how badly things had gone for him, maybe it wasn't.

  • Dr Adrian Song, London

Fruity exam
Another humdrum surgery was brightened by an older lady who complained of a breast problem.

When the area was uncovered my eyes were drawn to a sticker on her breast. It read 'Golden Delicious' and had a little picture of an apple. My patient, clearly embarrassed, said she had been buying apples earlier but had no idea how the sticker got there.

  • Dr Shaun McBride, Co. Antrim, Northern Ireland

Frolicsome request
I was doing my daily prescriptions in the room behind our reception desk when I heard the phone being put down followed by a huge giggle from my staff.

Intrigued, I came through to ask what was going on.

On the screen were details of a patient who recently became pregnant who had telephoned to request frolic acid.

I couldn't help having a bit of a giggle, too.

  • Dr Gurjinder Randhawa, Wakefield, West Yorkshire

We pay £25 for each Plain Tale published. Please mark entries 'Plain Tales' and send them to with your contact details.

Have you registered with us yet?

Register now to enjoy more articles and free email bulletins


Already registered?

Sign in

Follow Us: