Plain Tales from the Surgery

Watching your diet

A couple in their late sixties attended an afternoon clinic after they had been invited for a review of the husband's raised cholesterol.

I explained the role of medication, exercise and diet in helping to lower his cholesterol and explained to him what to eat and what not to eat.

The wife responded: 'You have to watch what you eat from now on, then.'

To which the husband replied: 'Yes I do. I never miss my mouth!'
Dr Abbas Amole, Great Barr, Birmingham

It comes to us all
A patient came in for a check of his BP.

While he was with me, he was keen to have a chat about his wife who had recently been diagnosed with 'Old-timers disease'.
Dr Ed Newson, St Neots, Cambridgeshire

Just a typo
During busy clinics my typing skills can deteriorate as I rush to enter notes on the computer. This can result in some interesting typos.

Recently I nearly spurted a mouthful of coffee over an unsuspecting patient while I was checking the entry for his previous consultation with me.

He had attended with bilateral waxy build-up and I had written, 'advised to see practice nurse for syringing of arse'.

All the right letters, but not quite in the right order.

I thought it best to correct the note before he attended his nurse's appointment.
Dr Annette Pressman, Widnes, Cheshire

Careful examination
A newly registered patient of mine became extremely uncomfortable when I advised him that I needed to check his thyroid gland.

'Well, you are not going to stick your finger up my bottom, doctor,' he exclaimed.

I was not sure if he just had a poor knowledge of anatomy, or whether perhaps his previous GP had an extremely long index finger.
Dr Alan Greenwood, Warminster, Wiltshire

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