Plain tales from the surgery

When I grow up ...

Sometimes I ask the students attached to our practice what made them decide to become doctors.

I've received the following good answers:

'The voices told me to.'

'It was when I saw my GP's Porsche.'

Dr Alick Munro, Cranford, west London

Salty lights
Recently an elderly woman was brought into my morning surgery by her daughter to review her blood results. Her renal function tests were abnormal, so after the initial greetings I started explaining the reason for the consultation and said: 'Your electrolytes are abnormal and we need to re-check them after couple of weeks.'

The look on her face suddenly changed.

'How can my electric lights go wrong and what will I do without lights for a couple of weeks,' she asked.

Her daughter and I could not control our laughing as I quickly explained.

I realised the words 'salts' might sound better.

Dr Prasanth Vutukuri, Plumstead, Greenwich

The happiest year ever
A young woman emailed a prescription request to our surgery asking for a six-month supply of the contraceptive pill as she was going on her 'gay year'.

'Are you bisexual, or do you mean gap year?' I emailed back.

'Yes, I do mean gap year, and I'm glad to see someone actually reads the emails,' she replied.
Dr Rob Whelan, Chorley, Lancashire

Shock tactics
While signing repeat prescriptions I could not help overhearing a lively exchange of ideas between two elderly ladies: 'I still have these hot sweats, I thought they would have finished by now; wonder if he will put me on HRT, you seem to have no more sweats, how come?'

'My husband died in August and the shock of that seems to have taken them away,' replied the other.

'I will go home and kill the bugger.'
Dr Kausar Jafri, Trentham, Stoke

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