Plain Tales from the Surgery

Hop, skip and a jump.
A 20-year-old patient came in to see me with a knee injury from a football tackle. He had an effusion but could weight bear.

The consultation ended with a prescription for an NSAID and I arranged to see him again.

He said that he wanted a letter for his college to confirm the injury, so I made my way to reception to arrange this and then returned to my room.

To my surprise, the patient had already gone.

I returned to reception and asked the receptionist if she had seen him.

'Oh yes', the receptionist said.

'I asked him what he wanted, and when he said that he wanted something for his leg, I gave him an old walking stick that a patient had left behind, and off he went without waiting for his prescription.'

Dr John Ogle, Cannington, Somerset

Doctor daddy
A few years ago, my then four-year-old son had an accident and cut his chin.

Since I am a single-handed GP on a remote Scottish island, and the nearest casualty department is over an hour away, I decided to stitch him up myself.

When we reached the surgery, I took him through to the treatment room via a waiting room full of patients.

He was not too impressed by the idea of me treating him.

As I tried to prepare him he shouted out (much to the amusement of the waiting room who could all hear): 'Leave me alone, I want to see a proper doctor.'

Dr Mark Aquilina, Mid Yell, Shetland Islands

Russian air
I recently saw a pleasant elderly patient for her annual asthma review. She said that her asthma was well controlled and had minimal symptoms.

She requested a repeat prescription of one of the inhalers that she was on.

'Which one?,' I asked.

'Aeroflot,' she replied.

I smiled and gave her an airomir inhaler instead. I wondered if she has shares in the Russian airline.

Dr Ramesh Patel, Peterborough, Cambridgeshire

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