Plain Tales from the Surgery

Stress levels

Stress levels
Upon reading the notes of a patient in my surgery who suffers from diabetes, heart disease and osteoarthritis, I noticed her last visit suggested water-based exercise that should 'afford an appropriate choleric reduction'.

But I knew the patient never had choleric fits. The penny dropped when I took a rough guess at her BMI.

Caloric reduction through water-based exercise would reduce stress, not only on her joints, but also soothe choleric temper.

Dr Dieter Hartmann, Speke, Liverpool

Knuckle dusters
The other day, my father-in-law, after having seen his local GP for his trigger finger, stated that he was going to have 'steel rods injected into his fingers'.

He thought this was entirely plausible because he regularly tapes his finger to a paper clip to keep it straight in the night.

I assumed that this must be a new technique that I had not heard of. It dawned on me that the GP must have said steroids.

My father-in-law now faces a lifetime of friendly banter from his new son-in-law.

Dr Andy Davy, Wolverhampton

Name game
A couple of months into my GP registrar post, I saw a gentleman who had recently been seen by vascular surgeons for claudication pain and was awaiting a Doppler scan.

He was asked to see his GP and to start a new drug called Astatin.

For the life of me, I could not find this drug and so had to ask for help from my trainer.

She could not figure it out either and so she asked her partner to help us who, after wracking her brains, spotted the missing space.

Dr Maya Mallya, Wakefield, West Yorkshire

Deflating experience
A patient, clearly unhappy that his dermatology outpatient appointment had been altered yet again, felt the need to write to complain and copy the letter to his GP.

'I am somewhat aspirated that I have now received another appointment,' he said.

Clearly he felt very deflated by the system.

Dr Neil Wright, Longton, Stoke on Trent.

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