Plain tales from the surgery

Memory lapse
I work in a rural practice and we are involved in the training and teaching of medical students.

The students also sit in with hospital consultants in their surgeries in the local community hospital.

I was chatting to our recent medical student about her session with a consultant psychiatrist and I enquired as to how it had gone.

With a straight face she replied: ‘I attended the memory clinic with him. The only problem was that only two patients remembered to keep their appointments.’

Dr Waseem Aslam 

Welshpool, Powys 

Famous fighting doc
Computer-generated summaries are a frequent source of amusement, though usually for the clumsiness of their language.

This week, however, I received a letter that made me laugh for a different reason.

I wonder if the young man about whom it was said ‘the above patient presented to the A&E department with punch injury right hand’ was aware of exactly who was treating him?

The letter was signed by no less than Dr Mohammad Ali.

Dr Ted Steiner

Mansfield, Nottinghamshire

Romantic type
An elderly patient came to see me recently, feeling rather embarrassed.

He had been referred to a dermatologist for a rash that was not resolving.

He informed me that the dermatologist had told him that he was suffering from ‘erotic eczema’ and was going to need a special type of treatment.

I was unsure as to exactly what he meant so he then handed me a written note from the dermatologist on which was written ‘xerotic’ eczema.

He was relieved, and we had a chuckle, when I explained what the dermatologist had meant.

Dr Mayur Shah

Roade, Northampton

Love of scrips
A mislaid prescription requiring re-printing gave all of us at the surgery a chuckle recently.

A gentleman who has had excellent results from using sildenafil had requested more tablets. When reviewing the need for re-issue, I was delighted to see the reason being ‘lust prescription’. I have not corrected this typo, it is truthful after all.

Dr Barney Tinsley

Bradford, West Yorkshire 

Upside down
One of my patients was seen in the out-of-hours centre with a painful lesion in her vagina.

The coding on the fax sheet back to the surgery gave a diagnosis of vaginal swelling.

However, the treatment suggested was to gargle with aspirin.

Dr Thomas Busch

Boston, Lincolnshire

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