Plain tales from the surgery

Colourful language
My dictated letter to the hospital consultant was meant to end: ‘Please would you follow this up?Yours sincerely’.

However, a momentary lapse in concentration in our secretary resulted in a small alteration in punctuation, which read:

‘Please would you follow this? Up yours sincerely’.

Readers may or may not be pleased to know that it was corrected before being sent.

Dr Vijayan Sampanthar


Learning to say no
I went to see a patient of mine (who is also a good friend) who was in bed with sciatica. He was pleased to see me and in the course of speaking to him, he asked how my Welsh lessons were progressing. I replied that I thought I was doing well.

His wife looked at me and then asked me in Welsh: ‘Do you like sausage and chips?’

I replied in my best Welsh: ‘Yes, I like them very much.’ Only because I didn’t know how to say I hated them.

She then marched out the room, so I wondered had I said something wrong.

Imagine my surprise when she reappeared 10 minutes later with a plate of sausage and chips, which, out of politeness, it nearly killed me to eat. It certainly made me brush up on ways to say ‘no, thank you’ in Welsh.

Dr David Jenkins

Ferryside, Carmarthenshire

Cycle crazy
British roads are becoming more dangerous. This seemed especially apparent after reading a letter from our local orthopaedics department.

‘I have seen Mr X following his left mid shaft clavicular fracture after falling off his bike on the psycho lane.’

Please be careful out there.

Dr Philip Ting


Choice words
We often get requests from our consultant colleagues but I drew the line with this one from our local urologist.

It read as follows: ‘This gentleman underwent a reversal of vasectomy at the end of September this year. He will be due to submit a fresh seminal analysis at the end of December and perhaps I can leave this in your hands.’

Dr Mark Aquilina

Mid Yell, Shetland

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