Dr Tom Jones: Twas the night before D301:1 (a festive Read code poem)

It's the most wonderful time of the year, allegedly - a time, perhaps, when even the hard bitten world of general practice IT can't help but be swept up in a tide of festive joy.

So, to help poor, hard-working GPs feel the spirit of seasonal goodwill, I have teamed up with GPonline and Dr Read of Read code fame to bring you a classic Christmas poem with a medical twist.

Who among us doesn’t possess an inner geek? One that loves to stretch the Read code system to breaking point and beyond?

I know I do…so – grab a space under the EMIS-TLETOE, build yourself a SNOWMEDMan, and enjoy the following poem, which I have lovingly transcribed (using EMIS Web) from the 1823 original by Clement Clarke Moore.

I believe it may well be the first part-English/part-Read code Christmas poem in history.

But, ultimately – R2yz-1. Warning – some of the translations are very tenuous and may induce wincing or at the very least 1BX9...

A festive Read code poem

Twas the night before D301-1, when all through the 13CA,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a 43lW.

The 8D430 were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The 8C93 were nestled all snug in their 1A220-1,
While visions of 44T3-1 plums danc'd in their AD20-1,

And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my M1180-1,
Had just settled our 7N00 for a long winter's nap‍—‌

When out on the TG40 there arose such a clatter,
I PB30 from the bed to see what was the F21Y6.

Away to the window I flew like a E224-1,
Tore open the shutters, and threw up the ALLERGY999NEMIS.

The 9NfK on the 9OHE of the new fallen U100,
Gave the 22D2 of mid-day to objects 8344E;

When, what to my wondering 22E1 should 47H,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny A21-1,

With a little old 9EG, so lively and 62O1-1,
I knew in a moment it must be St. M12y8-1.

More R050-1 than eagles his coursers they 9Y0,
And he PKy53, and 1P40, and called them by name:

"Now! Dasher, now! 0465, now! Prancer and Vixen,
"On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! ALLERGY1836 and Blitzen;

"To the top of the porch! To the top of the 1D22!
"Now 38Qm away! 38Qm away! 38Qm away all!"

Greetings of the Season to one and all!

Eat, drink and – above all – be merry.

Festive Read code glossary

R2yz-1 = God only knows

1BX9 = Light sleep

D301-1 = Christmas disease

13CA = Housebound ***

43lW = Mouse urine rast test

8D430 = Anti-thrombotic stockings

8C93 = Children reassured

1A220-1 = Bedwetting

44T3-1 = Post-prandial blood sugar

AD20-1 = Head lice

M1180-1 = Cradle cap

7N00 = Brain tissue

TG40 = Accident caused by powered lawnmower

PB30 = Hirschprung’s disease (sorry)

F21Y6 = Vanishing white matter disease

E224-1= Flasher

ALLERGY999NEMIS = Adverse reaction to Sash

9NfK = Requires info in Moon alphabet

9OHE = Patient breast aware

U100 = Fall involving ice and snow

22D2 = Hair lacks lustre

8344E = Below knee non weight-bearing cast

22E1 = Eyes - NAD

47H = Faeces Appearance

A21-1 = Deerfly fever

9EG = Disabled driver badge report

62O1-1 = Quickening

M12y8-1 = Nickel Sensitivity

R050-1 = Rapid Heartbeat

9Y0= Patient came for a second opinion

PKy53 = Whistling face syndrome

1P40 = Inappropriate shouting

0465 = Dancer

ALLERGY1836 = Adverse reaction to alka-donna

1D22 = Chest wall

38Qm = D.A.S.H. checklist

Return to poem

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