We all must have seen patients whose 'ead is 'urting, or who have hitchy h'eyes.
Today I was a little baffled by a man with coronary heart disease who told me that he had 'a hake in the side of his chest'.
I was not sure if was me or the vet he wanted to see, but at least I was satisfied that he had had his daily quota of omega 3.
- Dr Richard Edwards, Castle Vale, Birmingham
Not my colour
I was reading through the notes of a 20-year-old patient.
He had seen a colleague a month or so earlier concerning both a psychological problem and for a review after an ear infection.
My colleague had noted: 'Admits to being very conscious about his appearance. The antibiotics didn't suit him.'
I was tempted to clarify what the patient had been doing with the antibiotics!
- Dr Andy Cohen, Bushey Heath, Hertfordshire
Brown ale or magnolia
Having to trawl through some patient notes for yet another PCT exercise, I came across one patient's registration form which, when asked about alcohol consumption, read: 'Two paints a day'.
I wondered if this was brown ale, magnolia, or red bull****?
I just hope he didn't get plastered, as well. Probably his name was Matt.
- Ray Read, Practice manager, London
I was consultated today by a 71-year-old gentleman who had recently had a change of bowel habit.
He had been prescribed a drug that had helped significantly and he asked for a repeat while he was at the surgery.
'Can I have some more Miracle, doctor?' he said.
Unable to stifle a laugh, I corrected him: 'You mean Movicol don't you, not Miracle?'
He looked at me with a wry smile and said: 'Well it was a Miracle for me.'
Another amusing case for my file of fun.
- Dr Jeremy Cohen, Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire
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