A patient who came to see me and said: 'Doctor those lanzarote tablets don't seem to work and am still having dyspepsia symptoms.'
I soon realised she was on lansoprazole and altered the medication. I'm not sure what name she will come up with for omeprazole.
- Dr Dinesh Reddy, Coventry, West Midlands
Having been called out on an emergency to see an elderly patient in his warden-controlled bungalow, I was concerned when I could not get an answer from his door bell or phone.
Fearing the worst I knocked on all the windows, but with no reply, until a helpful neighbour came out to inform me that the paraplegics had already taken him to the hospital.
- Dr Sally Hodder, Weymouth, Dorset
A young woman came to my surgery accompanied by her five-year-old daughter. The girl stood next to my desk, silently studying my every move.
At the end of the consultation I printed a prescription, signed it with my usual flourish and gave it to the mother.
Without a glance at me the child followed her mother out of the room with the words 'Mummy, that's not writing.'
- Dr Michael Green, Stockport, Greater Manchester
Allergic to children
During a regular afternoon surgery, a young Polish lady came to see me with a florid red rash on her face which had appeared overnight without any warning.
When taking the history, I asked if she had any allergies. To my surprise I received a very matter of fact response: 'Yes, my children.'
Initially astonished, I reassuringly discovered she had misunderstood me and was trying to tell me her children have had allergy tests but not her.
I know our children can be hard work at times, but for a minute there I thought I had made a genuine new discovery.
- Dr Sanjeeve Sockanathan, Greenford, Middlesex
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