Plain tales from the surgery

Sample surprise
Having just spent three days on a consultation skills course, I felt I had brushed up on areas such as ‘checking patient understanding’.

Great was my surprise then when I asked a 60-year-old well-to-do gentleman with suspected diabetes if he could oblige with a urine sample. I gave him the specimen pot and headed for the door, so I could show him the way to the toilet.

Half way down the corridor, I was surprised to see he wasn’t hot on my trail.

When I returned to the room, I found that he had kindly decided to open his flies and was about to perform his task in the sink in the corner.

I thanked him for not wanting to create a queue to the facilities but suggested that he may be more comfortable there.

Dr Andy Cohen

St Albans, Hertfordshire

Shell shocked
Whilst on duty for an out-of-hours service, I was called to see a woman of about 35, who said she was distressed because her IUD had got dislodged and stuck in her ‘privates’.

I did an examination after she refused to go to hospital, and took out broken eggshell pieces — to my surprise and her relief.

I am familiar with all sorts of contraceptive devices but, I must admit, this calcium-fortified one is certainly a new one on me.

To say I was ‘shell’ shocked was an understatement.

Dr V K Seth

Sully, South Glamorgan 

Where’s Fred?

A letter from gynae outpatients this week made me wonder if the secretaries ever think about what they are typing.

The letter read as follows: ‘Thank you for referring Mrs X for removal of her coil. On examination, Fred was not visible in her vagina.’

No doubt good news for her husband, Jim.

Dr Fiona Underhill

East London 

High and dry

While perusing the records of a patient, I noted an entry where advice about DVT prevention had been given. It stated the patient was to keep mobile and drink plenty of fluids, particularly on ‘long hall flights’.

I am unsure whether this applied to aircraft with short hallways as well.

Dr Costi Stavrianakis

Crouch End, London

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